Tuesday 31 July 2012

Japanese process and Kiwi process

I haven't told you that I am Japanese and I'm originally from Japan. However I have never done IVF in Japan. This time, I looked at a lot of Japanese IVF site to see how the IVF process takes place.

The way to do things is quite similar but they use a nose spray instead of Gonal F ( the injection which stops making eggs). It is good for people who hate doing injections by themselves, but the nose spray needs to be put into your nose every 8 hours. If you forget to do this, your body starts to make eggs.

Here in NZ, we use an injection, but we need to do this only one time per day.
I didn't like doing the injections by myself, but I'm sure I'll forget to put the spray into my nose every 8 hours, and I'll be in a panic!

I think I'm lucky to live in NZ, but it would be nice if we can choose injection or nose spray. 

Tuesday 3 July 2012

Understanding from my surroundings

One day after about one and a half month since I left hospital, my husband said to me that other pregnant ladies usually work during their pregnancy term. I was surprised that he said that to me.
Because he is the person who watched me all the time, so I thought he understood my situation.

At that time I think I looked fine on the outside but I still felt my stomach stretched and I still had bleeding. I felt dizzy even after only doing the dishes.
Plus, I had morning sickness.

However people who have never had these symptoms, never can understand.

Sometimes his parents and his friends invited us for tea or to go for coffee, I was glad to be invited, but I didn't want to go and I said " Can you go by yourself? " to my husband, but he always said that it is not OK, just to go by himself....
I didn't hate them, but I just didn't want to meet anyone at that time. My nerve and mind were still exhausted.
However it seems hard to understand even for the person who is always with me.

And I felt guilty about keeping refusing to go.

A few weeks later, his parents asked us to come for tea again and we went to their place. After we had tea, my husband went to watch TV.  It's OK for him because it is his parents house but not for me.
I asked him to help to do the dishes, he said OK reluctantly.
When I started doing the dishes, he was still watching TV and I made a sign with my eyes to him.

" I"M COMING!! " he shouted.

I wanted to cry. It looked like that I forced him to do the dishes and I looked like an evil and lazy wife.
I felt dizzy and sick when I was doing the dishes but I had to keep smiling in front of his parents.
I hate think this way and I felt guilty, but I couldn't control my mind and it is very difficult that no one understood me.

I think for people who are having depression, their greatest cure is understanding from people who are surrounding them.

However please do not get me wrong.
I love my husband and his parents. My husband helps me a lot now.
I just want to say, there are some things that sometimes even the closest people find hard to understand.

Wednesday 7 March 2012

Pimples and body hair

I am 37 years old now, but I still always had 2~3 pimples on my face. My face skin type is very oily.
And also my body was hairy. When I was a teenager, it troubled me especially in summer time.
I think I have a lot of male hormones. It was said that my character is like a man often.

I think some people will realize that I wrote these above sentences in the past tense.
Since I got pregnant, I don't have any pimples on my face and the surface of skin is always smooth.
I read from a book, as soon as we become pregnant, our skin starts to get extra blood flow. This can make our skin get very blotchy and dry...... ha? I think my original skin is very oily, so my skin became a normal condition, and my pimples were gone.

After 5 months later since I got pregnant, my body hair ( arms, legs, face ) was reduced.
They don't grow much, but I still have a lot of head hair, eyebrows and eyelashes.

I think I got a lot of female hormones now.
I've heard that taking the pill makes us reduce pimples and body hair. If you taking the pill with the aim to reduce them, I think  it may take at least 5 months, especially with body hair.

Anyway, I am happy and enjoy having a face without pimples and a less hair body.
Thank you our baby!!       

Friday 2 March 2012

Bleeding and morning sickness

After a week, I still kept bleeding, it made me very nervous. I started to have morning sickness as well. ( My symptoms were having a lot of appetite and after eating a terrible taste would come up in my mouth all the time. I was only happy during eating. )

I kept bleeding for a total of 6 weeks and I went to take a womb scan every 2 weeks. I felt easier after they confirmed that our baby was still in my womb.
Every time the doctors cheered me up with the story of other pregnant ladies who had bled and gave birth to a healthy baby. The last photo of our scan, our baby got little legs and arms and it looked like a teddy bear. It was so cute!

At around this time, my body and mind felt exhausted all the time and I didn't want to meet people.
I always thought about food, I always thought about what should I have the next day before I go to sleep. Once I felt like having a certain food, I have to eat that to be satisfied.
When I had decided what I'll eat, I couldn't sleep for a while because I got too excited.
It is kind of scary, but I couldn't stop thinking of food.
It was like a mad love, Mr. Food and me......

I remember the cat at the farm. Before I got pregnant, I worked at a farm and there was a female cat which was pregnant.
One day at lunch time, I was going to eat meat and I held the meat between my fingers to shift it to my plate ( the farm provide us lunch ). And then the cat stole the meat using her paw from my hand, then ran away and started to eat it.
It was very quick and she looked like a mad cat. I thought at that time, what a bad behaved cat she is!!

However I know her feeling now. Maybe cats also have morning sickness and her condition and mine were the same. I am sorry for thinking that you are a bad and mad cat. Next time if I see you while you are pregnant, I'll give you some food.

   

Thursday 23 February 2012

Bleeding

About after two weeks since I left hospital, my stomach became small and my weight lost 11kg.
I still have 2kg more than usual and my stomach still felt a little stretched but , it will not disappear until I got the placenta.
It's OK, much better than 2 weeks ago. I can eat as much as I want now.
At around this time, I started bleeding a little. I looked it up on the internet, if it does not look like fresh blood and not a large quantity, just rest at home, don't be too worried.
At that time, my blood didn't look like fresh blood and it was like a half tea spoon. However my blood had become to look like fresh blood and had increased day by day. About a week later, I felt strong pain on my stomach during my sleep. I went to the toilet and it was like that I had started my period.
After the toilet, the toilet stool water became very red. I felt scared. I thought I had miscarried before I knew it and my period has started.

My husband woke up and came to me, then I told this to him, but it had started to snow heavily again.
It was at about 4:30am, I wondered if I can go to the fertility centre tomorrow......? Every time when it is heavy snow, something happens.

The next morning, it was still heavy snow and everything was covered with thick snow outside.
" Is the centre open? " I wondered. My husband phoned the centre and they were open. I felt easy a little and thought the staff in the centre are great workers!
My husband took me there and I took a womb scan. Our baby was still in my womb, it looked like a bean.
We could hear its heart beating as well. The doctor said that this heart beating is very nice and strong, our baby is fine. I felt very easy and I almost cried.

The doctor doesn't know the cause of this bleeding and he said that it will continue for a while.

I thought " Thank God. " and I prayed to God that please stop my bleeding as soon as possible!    

Friday 17 February 2012

A treatment for sensitive skin

Since I got OHSS, my skin has become very sensitive.
My forehead felt always hot and around my eyes felt very hot all the time. The water from shower felt stinging a little and even sun shine rays stung my skin a little.

I couldn't use usual toner and cream because they stung my face skin.
I remember The Body Shop's Aloe toner and cream were very mild on my skin and they are fragrance free. ( Fragrance made me feel sick at that time. )

I tried them and they were very good. They didn't sting the skin on my face and kept a nice amount moisture on my face.
I still using these items.


I recommend especially this toner. It won't sting.

Monday 13 February 2012

Injections again!

Before I left hospital, a nurse handed me an injection for 5 days. I had an injection to prevent thrombosis every afternoon and I had to do this for 5 days at home by myself.



The nurse asked me if I know how to do this.
" I think I know and I can do this. " I answered.

" Ahhh, I have to do an injection again...... I thought it's over. " I thought.
This injection has a thick and long needle and it has oil base liquid medicine, so it was painful. I felt it took a very long time over these 5 days, and I felt a great achievement when I finished the last injection!

However I thought that I never want to do this again.