One day after about one and a half month since I left hospital, my husband said to me that other pregnant ladies usually work during their pregnancy term. I was surprised that he said that to me.
Because he is the person who watched me all the time, so I thought he understood my situation.
At that time I think I looked fine on the outside but I still felt my stomach stretched and I still had bleeding. I felt dizzy even after only doing the dishes.
Plus, I had morning sickness.
However people who have never had these symptoms, never can understand.
Sometimes his parents and his friends invited us for tea or to go for coffee, I was glad to be invited, but I didn't want to go and I said " Can you go by yourself? " to my husband, but he always said that it is not OK, just to go by himself....
I didn't hate them, but I just didn't want to meet anyone at that time. My nerve and mind were still exhausted.
However it seems hard to understand even for the person who is always with me.
And I felt guilty about keeping refusing to go.
A few weeks later, his parents asked us to come for tea again and we went to their place. After we had tea, my husband went to watch TV. It's OK for him because it is his parents house but not for me.
I asked him to help to do the dishes, he said OK reluctantly.
When I started doing the dishes, he was still watching TV and I made a sign with my eyes to him.
" I"M COMING!! " he shouted.
I wanted to cry. It looked like that I forced him to do the dishes and I looked like an evil and lazy wife.
I felt dizzy and sick when I was doing the dishes but I had to keep smiling in front of his parents.
I hate think this way and I felt guilty, but I couldn't control my mind and it is very difficult that no one understood me.
I think for people who are having depression, their greatest cure is understanding from people who are surrounding them.
However please do not get me wrong.
I love my husband and his parents. My husband helps me a lot now.
I just want to say, there are some things that sometimes even the closest people find hard to understand.
